One of the greatest gifts in life is experiencing the collective meltdown that is the internet creating and then discovering a meme. Sometimes we are gifted with a tongue-in-cheek raid of Area 51, or the threat of 30-50 feral hogs invading our backyard. The newest bewildering-but-awesome meme craze is “fish tube”, aka the salmon cannon, and it ran wild over the weekend. Seen the fish tube online and don’t know what to make of it? We have your back.

“This salmon cannon transports the fish between bodies of water,” Cheddar tweeted last week, alongside a video of the cannon at work. The tweet is so innocuous, so unaware of the Pandora’s Box it was about to unleash upon the world. 

You see, this is simply a cannon. In which our slippery salmon friends are transported between bodies of water. It’s really quite simple and ingenious and not strange at all. It’s also worth noting that the business behind Salmon Cannon is called Whooshh. This can only mean it’s in the business of making things that go Whooshh. Dubbed “fish tube,” the whole thing reeks of supremely chaotic energy, and the internet has embraced it wholeheartedly. 

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Some expressed a deep and primal desire to travel by fish tube, and if I subscribed to the Freudian school of thought I would say it’s because it bares an unnecessary resemblance to the birth canal. Fortunately, I don’t, and I would also love to be haphazardly thrown into the gaping hole of the fish tube because it looks very fun. 

Others, were quick to rain on our tubular parade. 

Since we haven’t yet developed dorsal fins of our own (I give it a few more years), the only thing we can really do is imagine what it must be like to travel through the mysterious fish tube. We’ll always have water slides. 

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